


for you i would ruin myself (a million little times)

by glossysed



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Bad English, Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Maybe angst, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Yearning, and they were ROOMMATES, catradora, i fucked it up pls dont read, idk what to tag, whipped lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glossysed/pseuds/glossysed
Summary: the one where Adora is so whipped for Catraorthe catradora sleeping au no one asked for
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	for you i would ruin myself (a million little times)

It all had begun with when they move out together for college.

Adora knew she felt comfortable and at home when she was with her best friend, Catra. She knew that going out with her after a rough school day made her feel better, she knew that telling about her little secrets to her, even if she had major trust issues, was so healing and she adored that feeling. She knew it all. She always thought that Catra was home to her, she used to have sleepovers with her almost every weekend. She hated going to that school but if that meant they would be with each other, she would wake up early to go see Catra. And everyone would find that so weird because apparently, Adora had to do some stuff that is important for her. Well, Catra is crucial to her. Also, they were always going to indie groups concerts together, travel a lot of cities in this country and she could tell that it was funnier than anything ever. So Adora decided to ignore what they say and go for what she was feeling. So, now she is here. Everything is quite the same. Adora wakes up with Catra's beautiful face, they do their breakfast while catching up on stuff, after their classes they hang out. 

The thing that wasn't the same was Adora's feelings. She always thought she only liked Catra this much because they've been together a lot, she always thought it was all because she had a soft spot for Catra because she liked that Catra was different from the other ones. She was hard to understand, you couldn't read her easily and Adora has liked that about her. Well, Adora liked everything about her, from how she gets so cuddly when she is drunk to how she always keeps talking about music so passionately. And that was the problem. Catra would break Adora's heart into pieces and Adora would still care about her. She didn't even question all these and what she was feeling for Catra until that time. The time when Catra brought a friend to their home and Adora felt something burning under her skin whenever that girl touches Catra and they would always laugh so loudly. Adora hated how she laughed with that girl, how Catra even looked at her. She felt nothing in the world would be sadder than that. Nothing happened with that friend, thanks to fairies, but Adora now has learned how she felt about her best friend and everything was going through her head. When she couldn't sleep at night, wrapped around her blanket and staring at her ceiling she would dream about what would happen if Adora confessed those three words to Catra, like how Catra would taste if she ever tried to kiss her, would she be able to ever get that close to her? Would she be able to cuddle with her, not the ones where Adora would go to her bed and lie about that she couldn't sleep just for Catra to cuddle her when they were too young? Those scenarios always go around her mind whenever she is trying to sleep or do some assignments. Like how, right now she has to finish this paper but here she is, thinking about where Catra is.

"Adora?"  
Just now Adora was thinking about her, Catra's soft voice appears. What a beautiful sight, Adora thinks.  
"Where have you been?" Adora says as she is on her tiptoes to hug Catra. Adora releases the smell of beer on Catra as soon as she hugs her. After a warm hug, even though they both don't wanna stop hugging, they stop. "I was jus' hanging," Catra said, she looked slightly tipsy and her words weren't so clear. Her hair was a bit messy and she was looking at her like a kitten.  
"Were you with her again?” Adora asked as her face slowly looked down into the ground. She did not know what to feel or to say. “With who? Y’know all my friends boo,” Well, she wasn’t wrong. Still she did not answer Adora’s question though. Like, why the hell she get this drunk? It wasn’t like Catra didn’t look like a goddess already and Adora couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. Catra glanced a stare at Adora’s face, she saw Adora’s eyes were studying her face and Catra smirked.  
“What’s funny? We both know you’ll be puking in a minute,” Adora teased, knowing from experiences.  
“You say it like you won’t be the one who’s gonna help me,” Catra giggled right before she felt that pain in her stomach and runaway to the bathroom. She sat down and started throwing up. While she throws up, Adora came after her in a rush. She tried to help Catra as she patted her back and softly touched her back. After Catra stopped throwing up, Adora gave her a cup of water. Adora looked very nervous at that time, she felt pain as she kept looking at Catra vomiting. She always did that sp that wasn’t surprising but this time was different than the others. She could totally sense that. She decided to ignore that and kept helping Catra. 

After Adora helped Catra to change her clothes to pajamas, Adora thought Catra would like to be alone. She didn’t want to bother her as Catra looked like having other problems in her head. This didn’t feel good because they would never do that. They would sit together and cry their eyes out and drink until they feel nothing. This was different, was Catra distancing herself or was that just Adora? Why would Catra distance herself from her best friend? She was the one who said she will love Adora even if no one does. Who gave all those promises to Adora when she was crying because of her stupid crushes.  
“Hi,” Catra’s soft voice was heard as she was standing next to Adora’s door. She looked all cute with her pink pajamas and her plush slippers. Oh and her soft, fluffy hair. “Um, I couldn’t really sleep.” Catra tiptoed around the room for her way to Adora’s bed. Adora couldn’t help but felt surprised. I mean, she would do that but Catra? She always acted tough, especially since they have moved out together. So this was very… weird. “Come here,” Adora said as her heart started beating when Catra started climbing onto Adora’s bed. Adora inhaled deeply. She smelled so nice, Adora thought. She felt the urge to hug her very tightly but still, she couldn’t risk it. She wanted to tell her how bad she wanted to kiss her. But keeping it all inside is better.  
“I know what you’re thinking,” Does she? If she knew, would she be able to stay this calm and even this close to her? “I feel so bad when I am alone. It feels too cold and weird around my room.” That’s what i feel when you’re not around, Catra. “Is it okay if i stay here?” Catra asked as if she didn’t know the answer already. How could Adora say no to her? “You know you’re always welcome here. I just felt surprised,” Catra gave a soft smile after Adora covered her under the blankets. This felt familiar. Just how good Catra smelled, how she looked like a kitten made Adora feel weird. Her heart started aching, she wanted to give her all the love she had, didn’t know if it was enough for Catra but she wanted to try. She knew Catra got drunk that much for a person, she feels it because they don’t do the stuff they used to do before. That is probably because Catra is in love with someone. Someone that is not Adora. The thought of Catra feeling that soft stuff for someone else made Adora worse. And if she loved someone else, who was that person to not love her back? It is not like, you can not love Catra as soon as you get to know her. Even before you know her, she makes you feel like she is not from this world. She looks, talks, and behaves like she is a Greek Goddess. It was impossible to not feel something towards her. Right when Adora was having a burst of thoughts, Catra curled up against Adora. That was enough for Adora to open her mouth and to not keep everything to herself.  
“Catra?” Adora asked as her stopped beating. “Did you get drunk that much because of someone?” Adora felt her breath getting faster.  
“Why did you think that, boo?” Catra asks, not wanting to answer because how could she tell her that?  
“Because you act like that. You feel distant and I hate that.” For the first time in a while, Adora was being this honest. “You’re getting to know new, cooler people than me and you feel far away as the days pass.”  
“Are you jealous of me?” Catra teases as she giggles. Adora, however started holding her close after that. She wasn’t able to think, she wanted to choke in the smell of Catra. She was feeling Catra and liked how their bodies fit each other. “What if I am?” Adora asked in a bratty way.  
“I liked that,” Catra started smiling. Adora caught Catra’s eyes glowing and gleaming when she looked at her. Adora watched how Catra breathed while she snuggles to her. She dreamt about this so long that even now, she was so scared that this could also be a daydream of her. She couldn’t help but think, what if she confesses? What would Catra do? This is the first time Adora feels comfortable with her feelings, accepting that she loves her best friend. She always thought love was just a lie, every couple happens to be fall out of love. So why would love be real? If someone can leave someone that they loved that much, can that thing be called love? But then again, all the books and poems she has read, all the movies she has watched, and felt something inside her heart. They were also a feeling. She wished someone would write a poem or a song about her too. She wanted to feel like she was breathing, she wanted to feel loved and to love someone. She thinks all that and remembers. That’s what Catra does to her. Even if Catra were to reject her, Catra makes her feel all of it. The burning, the feeling hopeless but still trying for her. Every day waking up without her but at the end of the day, Catra is the one who she goes. She is the one who makes Adora feel like she is a poet in the eighties. She is the one who makes her feel like her heart is gonna pop. And, isn’t that the love itself?  
“Catra, do you like someone?” As soon as Adora asks, Catra feels she couldn’t breathe. Why she was keep asking that? Was Catra obvious? “I am just curious, that’s all,” Adora added. Catra was trying to play it cool but that was not the case at all. She also didn’t know how to answer this question. Fuck, like she could totally confess to her through this question. If Catra were to tell, Adora would definitely feel like Catra betrayed her. Adora didn’t want their friendship, this bond to fell apart. Catra hated that. But, maybe that was a sign. Maybe she has to be brave and do something about it. Maybe everything would be like how she dreamed. “M-maybe,” She stuttered. She kept swearing to herself in her thoughts.  
Adora felt like crying, of course. She would like someone because she is also a human! It wasn’t like she was gonna sit with Adora forever and spend all her life cuddling her and comforting her. Adora starts sobbing. Catra likes that girl, maybe even sings to her. Her heart aches thinking about all these. She also wants to take a drink and stop thinking. “I’m so sorry.I shouldn’t have thought about all that,”  
She says as her tears falling down her cheeks. Catra slowly wipes her tears away from her soft puffy cheeks. “Why are you crying baby?” Catra feels confused and like someone kicked her belly. She didn’t even confess and yet, she made her cry. “No, don’t call me baby, then my mind would write stupid scenarios. I swear I didn’t even want to feel all those and I tried to ignore them but I can’t. Adora feels her throat hurting. “I’m so sorry I tried to stop…” Adora sniffs, Catra feels her eyes burning. Adora keeps crying as Catra holds her tightly, close to herself. Whispering that everything will be alright and she knows. But how would Catra know that? She is in love with someone else, she thinks about someone else. When Adora wakes up, she thinks about Catra. When they walk, she thinks about holding her hand. When they go to those indie concerts, all she thinks about kissing Catra in those colorful lights and romantic songs. She wants all these but Catra wants someone else. Adora keeps sobbing. This one wasn’t even about her, Catra was drunk. She deserved all those pats and those whispers. Not her. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t even be a good friend,” She doesn’t want to look at Catra because she is scared that Catra might start hating her. It is so messed up. Catra touches her chin and makes her look at her. “Babe,” She says as she looks at Adora being a mess, “Can I kiss you?”  
Adora’s heart skips a beat and she feels it. Did she really ask that? “Why would you wanna kiss me Catra?! Why-“  
“Because I’m in love with you. Since I feel like no one can make me feel the way you do. I tried, I tried loving everybody else because I just couldn’t love you. But with no one, I have felt this way. I was so scared and coward that you would hate me,” Adora looks at her with her bright blue eyes. She feels Catra looking at her lips, studying every bit of it. She needed to feel her on her lips, more than anything. As she felt their breath got closer, Catra slowly moved her hand up to craddle her cheek and started kissing her. Adora closed her eyes, her heart was racing up. Her blood got warmer like if it was possible. She finally could taste Catra’s beautiful lips. She tasted like strawberries, so soft and sweet. She didn’t want this to stop. Their heart was flipping over, they were both whipped for each other. It was like time was spinning around them this time. Everything was just a lie except them. Adora dipped her fingers into her hair and pulled her closer. It all felt so good.  
“Catra, you’re gonna be the death of me.” She says when they break away. Catra gives a smile. “I didn’t know you could be this desperate for my kiss.” She teased softly and then said “I love you babe.” 

After they woke up from a cozy and cuddly night together, they baked pancakes, well Catra was burning all of them because she kept getting distracted by Adora keep kissing her. And if Adora knew something at that point, she would do all that again. She would ruin herself for Catra. A million little times.

**Author's Note:**

> is it really my fic if there's nothing about taylor swift?  
> this was for fun and it was my first ff please don't bully me


End file.
